Planning some spontaneous travel.

Try and get your head around that concept then!

Well, here I am, with the first week ahead of me, and I'm looking at a number of potential things; Amongst all of the art I'm doing for people and myself, all of the recording of music and the drinking of coffee, I want to go and see some folks. Trains, all the way, everywhere. I love 'em. They're my key to all this - that said, I only have two certain destinations - Canterbury and Home. Thus far, there's nowhere else which cries out to me - Everyone has exams and suchlike, so finding people to visit is proving something of a labour.

It's odd - Despite the fact that I have basically no responsibilities for the next 3 weeks, I feel a strange pressure on my shoulders. Maybe I've built up too much of an idea of how I'm supposed to spend this time in my confused old noggin. It wouldn't surprise me - I'm entirely capable of thinking too much about nothing.
I just wish it'd leave - I want to feel different, I want to break they rhythm, and that simply can't happen if I'm captured by time and thought and process and systematic response. I want to be able to tell someone I'm coming to see the a day before I do, then to get on a train early, spend a day in good company and head back to places I know with a new experience under my belt.

I think what I'm trying to do is eradicate fear - there isn't much in me, but there's enough still that can crush me if it gets a chance. I know that if something were to go against my "spontaneous planning" that, at this point, I'd probably freak out a little. I mean, I know from past experiences that I've been able to handle that kind of madness before. It's there though, that little bit of worry that I so desperately wish would sod off to the tiny, dank cave it lives in, far away in the winding valleys and vistas of my head.

I'll keep you up to speed on what happens, if anything. Those of you who know me will be able to see if anything's different. Those who don't, then we obviously haven't spoken enough - I demand you email me at once.

'tonm. xx

Book of the Moment: "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac, p119.

Song of the Moment: "So Easy" by Becky Jules

I think the "Christmas Joy" has been slightly detracted from.

I'm not being a fatalist or 'old and mature' or anything - I think what's happened is I've arrived home this weekend and expected everyone to be madly excited about Christmas. I guess I imagined the house would be full of the rich smells of mulled wine and mince pies, or that there'd be boxes overflowing with tinsel on the floor of the lounge just begging to have their contents strewn all over the house.

But they're all still in school here. I mean, I am too, technically, but i'm home for the weekend (though that may become the rest of the week, depending on how much help I can offer my Mum) because of this concert.

I suppose maybe I'm still subconsciously recognising that; Maybe a little voice in the back of my head is rying to remind me that there's still one academic week left for me to confront, so I can't put all my heart and soul into being a merry old soul.

Alternatively, tiredness is taking hold of me - I did, after all, get up at 6:30 this morning in order to catch a train which would get me home for 10:45. It was still brilliant, mind - Everytime I catch a train I enjoy the journey. In fact, I quite enjoyed the entire experience of getting up before everything else. I think it should be a once-a-week thing. Though certainly not every Saturday. No, that would be preposterous.

Now, wine and an evening.
Let's try and infuse the household with some Christmas spirit, eh?



'tonm.
xxxx


Book of the Moment: "Q magazine: Issue 258" - Q

Song of the Moment: "Airport Taxi Reception" - Sondre Lerche