...and now I can dance the last few hundred metres too!
I finally got a new iPod, and this time it's a classic, so it'll last, plus it has basically everything I own on it - Groovy.
Anyway, to matters at hand - I finish semester in near enough 2 weeks, and the pressure is seriously on. I have to make a book, the frame of which will hopefully be entirely twisted, as a reflection of the notions of tormenting, manipulation and nagging referred to in my chosen novel, "An Essay on the Art of Tormenting" by Jane Collier.
I have to a whole butt-load of preparation for it tomorrow - In fact, I basically need to absolutely decide on what it's going to look like and how it will be built, because it needs to look really good, and if I haven't started to build by Monday, it'll be rushed. Research, as always, is boring as stripping wallpaper and ultimately not as helpful. If I don't do enough, though, then my final solution has to be utterly perfect, because its a 50/50 marking scheme. I'm sure it'll pan out OK.
Well, not sure, but you get the idea.
I'm ready for term to be over.
'tonm. xx
Book of the Moment: "Moab is My Washpot" by Stephen Fry
Song of the Moment: "Creepy Crawl" by Be Your Own Pet
Showing posts with label book. Show all posts
Showing posts with label book. Show all posts
Thursday, 1 May 2008
Sunday, 20 January 2008
Planning some spontaneous travel.
Try and get your head around that concept then!
Well, here I am, with the first week ahead of me, and I'm looking at a number of potential things; Amongst all of the art I'm doing for people and myself, all of the recording of music and the drinking of coffee, I want to go and see some folks. Trains, all the way, everywhere. I love 'em. They're my key to all this - that said, I only have two certain destinations - Canterbury and Home. Thus far, there's nowhere else which cries out to me - Everyone has exams and suchlike, so finding people to visit is proving something of a labour.
It's odd - Despite the fact that I have basically no responsibilities for the next 3 weeks, I feel a strange pressure on my shoulders. Maybe I've built up too much of an idea of how I'm supposed to spend this time in my confused old noggin. It wouldn't surprise me - I'm entirely capable of thinking too much about nothing.
I just wish it'd leave - I want to feel different, I want to break they rhythm, and that simply can't happen if I'm captured by time and thought and process and systematic response. I want to be able to tell someone I'm coming to see the a day before I do, then to get on a train early, spend a day in good company and head back to places I know with a new experience under my belt.
I think what I'm trying to do is eradicate fear - there isn't much in me, but there's enough still that can crush me if it gets a chance. I know that if something were to go against my "spontaneous planning" that, at this point, I'd probably freak out a little. I mean, I know from past experiences that I've been able to handle that kind of madness before. It's there though, that little bit of worry that I so desperately wish would sod off to the tiny, dank cave it lives in, far away in the winding valleys and vistas of my head.
I'll keep you up to speed on what happens, if anything. Those of you who know me will be able to see if anything's different. Those who don't, then we obviously haven't spoken enough - I demand you email me at once.
'tonm. xx
Book of the Moment: "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac, p119.
Song of the Moment: "So Easy" by Becky Jules
Well, here I am, with the first week ahead of me, and I'm looking at a number of potential things; Amongst all of the art I'm doing for people and myself, all of the recording of music and the drinking of coffee, I want to go and see some folks. Trains, all the way, everywhere. I love 'em. They're my key to all this - that said, I only have two certain destinations - Canterbury and Home. Thus far, there's nowhere else which cries out to me - Everyone has exams and suchlike, so finding people to visit is proving something of a labour.
It's odd - Despite the fact that I have basically no responsibilities for the next 3 weeks, I feel a strange pressure on my shoulders. Maybe I've built up too much of an idea of how I'm supposed to spend this time in my confused old noggin. It wouldn't surprise me - I'm entirely capable of thinking too much about nothing.
I just wish it'd leave - I want to feel different, I want to break they rhythm, and that simply can't happen if I'm captured by time and thought and process and systematic response. I want to be able to tell someone I'm coming to see the a day before I do, then to get on a train early, spend a day in good company and head back to places I know with a new experience under my belt.
I think what I'm trying to do is eradicate fear - there isn't much in me, but there's enough still that can crush me if it gets a chance. I know that if something were to go against my "spontaneous planning" that, at this point, I'd probably freak out a little. I mean, I know from past experiences that I've been able to handle that kind of madness before. It's there though, that little bit of worry that I so desperately wish would sod off to the tiny, dank cave it lives in, far away in the winding valleys and vistas of my head.
I'll keep you up to speed on what happens, if anything. Those of you who know me will be able to see if anything's different. Those who don't, then we obviously haven't spoken enough - I demand you email me at once.
'tonm. xx
Book of the Moment: "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac, p119.
Song of the Moment: "So Easy" by Becky Jules
Tuesday, 4 December 2007
I feel like my fingers are tightly bound.
Don't worry - This isn't some obscure metaphor for the pressure of work or anything, though, if it were a stranger day, I'm sure I would stretch so far as to accept something akin to that as perfectly passable.
No, I genuinely get a sensation, fairly regularly in fact, which feels as though my fingers and toes are being either squished together and constricted or pulled apart from every direction, tonight's being the former. I twitch and fidget to try and rid myself of these tensions, but at the end of the day, the only real cure is to submit that the day has gone on far too long and my body is disagreeing with my wonderful idea of staying up until 3am and consuming lots of caffeine and sugar in the process.
(Not combined, mind you - It is a complete aberration to combine either tea of coffee with any form of sweetener, as far as the Citizens of the Palate are concerned.)
Yes, stress is tearing my body apart. Or at least it's certainly convinced my nerve endings that it's trying. I can't particularly put a finger on when it started. It's happened for years, and hasn't notably been worsened by recent, gutting events - I think maybe one day all of my neurones got together, decided they'd had quite enough of all this late-to-bed madness I seemed to enjoy and conspired to end it by tensing me up through every synapse they could find each time my eyelids flickered.
As it happens, it's not quite worked for them - If anything, I now stay up later than I ever used to and embrace my strange sensations as unique characteristics of my person. I think i may even be re-developing a twitch in the eye. The thing is, I don't directly relate this to stress. Lack of sleep, maybe, but that shouldn't always entail a stress issue, should it? Or is that the biological name? Here, I though stress was a psychological term when it was used with humans.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it. I don't sleep enough, this is true. I also drink too much coffee/tea and eat too much sugar. Conversely, I do listen to a lot of chillout/jazz and don't have any major health problems to speak of. Surely stress would be more obvious to me? I mean, I know that I can get really depressed sometimes, but I can get equally as joyful and hyperactive too!
I don't know. Maybe I'm just scared of the notion of stress affecting me. I get stressed, but i don't suffer from it.
There.
Whoever said you couldn't analyse your own state of health obviously didn't consider the key factors of ignorance and misinformation.
'tonm. x
Book of the Moment: "Making History" - Stephen Fry. p308
Song of the Moment: "Letter from God to Man" - Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip
No, I genuinely get a sensation, fairly regularly in fact, which feels as though my fingers and toes are being either squished together and constricted or pulled apart from every direction, tonight's being the former. I twitch and fidget to try and rid myself of these tensions, but at the end of the day, the only real cure is to submit that the day has gone on far too long and my body is disagreeing with my wonderful idea of staying up until 3am and consuming lots of caffeine and sugar in the process.
(Not combined, mind you - It is a complete aberration to combine either tea of coffee with any form of sweetener, as far as the Citizens of the Palate are concerned.)
Yes, stress is tearing my body apart. Or at least it's certainly convinced my nerve endings that it's trying. I can't particularly put a finger on when it started. It's happened for years, and hasn't notably been worsened by recent, gutting events - I think maybe one day all of my neurones got together, decided they'd had quite enough of all this late-to-bed madness I seemed to enjoy and conspired to end it by tensing me up through every synapse they could find each time my eyelids flickered.
As it happens, it's not quite worked for them - If anything, I now stay up later than I ever used to and embrace my strange sensations as unique characteristics of my person. I think i may even be re-developing a twitch in the eye. The thing is, I don't directly relate this to stress. Lack of sleep, maybe, but that shouldn't always entail a stress issue, should it? Or is that the biological name? Here, I though stress was a psychological term when it was used with humans.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it. I don't sleep enough, this is true. I also drink too much coffee/tea and eat too much sugar. Conversely, I do listen to a lot of chillout/jazz and don't have any major health problems to speak of. Surely stress would be more obvious to me? I mean, I know that I can get really depressed sometimes, but I can get equally as joyful and hyperactive too!
I don't know. Maybe I'm just scared of the notion of stress affecting me. I get stressed, but i don't suffer from it.
There.
Whoever said you couldn't analyse your own state of health obviously didn't consider the key factors of ignorance and misinformation.
'tonm. x
Book of the Moment: "Making History" - Stephen Fry. p308
Song of the Moment: "Letter from God to Man" - Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip
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